“We find that people who meet online are more in tune with what they’re looking for, and what they want to get out of the experience. For better or for worse, once you meet someone online it can be easier to ask questions that may otherwise be a little intense for a first or second date, such as, ‘What sort of commitment are you looking for?’” … “We find that when you’re clear about your expectations and intentions, you’re more likely to find success in dating because there’s no guessing involved and you’ve fully put yourself out there.”
Rachel DeAlto, a social scientist from the Pew Research Center, explains that “the user intent behind using a comprehensive service like Match sets the relationship apart from offline couples from the beginning.” Liz Colizza, director of Couples Therapy for Lasting, says that relationship success is more likely when the partners at the outset are able to find what they are looking for rather than settling for a potential partner they may happen to meet randomly offline.
Moore comments that when “Intentional Daters” log on to the dating sites with a specific purpose in mind, the end result is that they end up finding a meaningful connection with their intended partner
A third reason that online dating can reduce divorce is because highly selective dating leads to alignment with a person’s individual social values. Liz Colizza puts it this way:
“Online dating allows people to be highly selective in who they choose to talk to because the pool of potential partners is large and because of the format,” she explains. “People want to meet other people that are compatible with them, but often don’t know where to go for that. Online dating platforms offer that space for people to match with potential partners.”
Colizza argues that relationship success is rooted in a couple’s “goal alignment.” She says that a potential couple that meets on a targeted dating site can discuss and reveal these personal goals “almost immediately.”
A fourth reason for a decrease in the incidences of divorce from online dating is that dating sites allow a romantic connect to be made by unlikely couples. Rachel Alto says, “The apps have created a way for you to focus on the qualities of the person you’re looking for instead of accessibility.” In other words, dating sites have to ability to significantly expand the dating pool.
Online Dating Terminology
Over the years, online dating has developed its own terminology that corresponds to the phenomena associated with it as it emerged and developed. Below is a sample of some of the various online dating jargon used in today’s digital dating environment.
BREADCRUMBING it’s an easy way to keep the door open in case they decide they want to pursue something down the line
BENCHING keeping someone on the bench in case they are needed to come into the game (not a secret it’s happening)
FIREDOORING – the door only opens one way (they can go in and out. You can only go one way that they choose)
ORBITING – a person will ghost you, but continue to stalk your social media simply keeping themselves in your orbit
STASHING – keeping a partner hidden, not showing up on their social media in order to keep their options open.
STEALTHING This is the act of taking a condom off during sex without even letting your partner know you’ve done it.
SUBMARINING ghosts you and then just pops back into your life after a lengthy silence as though nothing had happened.